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Landlubbers' Shanty

from A Moving Feast by Bruce Watson

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about

It’s time we non-sailing types got a shanty of our own. Like all my songs, this is a true story.

lyrics

I'll tell you of a story, lads, that happened once to me
Heave, haul, ho, and open up wide
Of the only time that I went out upon the briny sea
Heave from your stomachs, lads, and chunder over the side

As I went out one Sunday arvo on Port Phillip Bay
The Captain said, "She's blowing lads, we'll get some waves today

My friends had all impressed on me how sailing was so easy
If that's the case, excuse me asking why I feel so queasy?

While looking at the sea so green my face was getting greener
Whoops! I didn't make it to the side, we'll have to call the cleaner!

The First Mate and the Skipper said the boat was going beautiful
But I grew more in need of some assistance pharmaceutical

I wanted to be like those men at sea, who all go, "Arrrghh!"
But when I tried to go like that it seemed to come out, "Yeuargh"

The Captain said, "Now heave that yard arm mizzen to the tops'l"
I says, "Bollocks to your bulwarks, man, you can stick it up your fo'c's'le!"

Well, finally we made for home, returned to terra firma
I says, "The firmer it is the less terror there'll be," and went off without a murmur

The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green craft
But now I've had a go myself, I reckons they was daft!

credits

from A Moving Feast, released August 5, 2020

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Bruce Watson Melbourne, Australia

Joyful, hilarious, thought provoking and totally engaging original songs from one of Australia's foremost songwriters and performers in the folk style.

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