1. |
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Yeah, we got smart bombs, and dumb politicians
Smart bombs and dumb politicians
Scattergun strategies deployed with precision
We got smart bombs — and dumb politicians
We got taller buildings but shorter tempers
We got more possessions but less that’s precious
We got wider freeways but narrower vision
Two hundred channels full of rubbish on our televisions
We’ve conquered outer space, but not the space within
We talk so much, but we seldom listen
We got muzak everywhere we go when what we need is silence
We got people making war to rid the world of violence
Well we’re information rich, but understanding poor
There’s so much food, but more starving that ever before
And we got poor rich kids who starve themselves for fashion
We got more computers, but less compassion
We got bigger cities but more who feel alone
We got fancy houses but broken homes
We got leaders who think you get peace by making war
Instead of surprise and wonder, we got shock and awe
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2. |
Unfinished Business
04:02
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You should have told me you were worried
You didn’t have to go like this
I thought I knew what you were thinking
I only wish, I only wish
Wish I could reach out now and hold you
Wish I could travel back in time
Wish I could be a fortune teller
Read each and every little sign
I lie awake in bed
My thoughts they weigh like lead
Those things we left unsaid
Go round and round and round my head
We could have finished unfinished business
Those things that we were gonna do
We could have walked that road together
We could have started out a-new
I thought I knew what you were thinking
I thought you knew you could have said
I know I’ll always have the memories
But what I’d give for you instead
You should have told me you were worried
You didn’t have to go like this
I thought I knew what you were thinking
I only wish, I only wish
I only wish
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3. |
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My pussy cat keeps peeing on the carpet
This feline fiend has fairly got me beat
Oh! Where did I go wrong?
To make her make this pong
I’ve always tried to keep my house so clean and fresh and neat
My pussy cat keeps peeing on the carpet
And I suspect she does it out of spite
She’s twisted and she’s bitter
’Cos she doesn’t use the litter
To see her squat, I’ll tell you what; it’s such an ugly sight
Now the smell pervades the house and all my possessions
I’m really at a loss to stop these wee indiscretions
My pussy cat keeps peeing on the carpet
I’m desperate and I don’t know what to do
It’s just a cat-alogue of woes
Oh, she’s really on the nose
Why, the other day, I’m afraid to say, she even did a….
Poo-poo-pee-doo, poo-poo-pee-doo, poo-poo-pee-doo doo doo
My pussy cat keeps peeing on the carpet
This whole affair has given me a jolt
And so, for what it’s worth
I even rang Hugh Wirth
He yelled at me and said to me that it was all my fault
I lie awake just thinking of ways I could hurt her
Maybe she would change if I got a cat-alytic converter
My pussy cat keeps peeing on the carpet
My fantasies for revenge become more bizarre
There’s many ways to skin a cat
(I’ve got an idea! . . . . ) No, they can put you in jail for that
But a 16 tonne weight would be totally great – or maybe a fight with a car
My pussy cat keeps peeing on the carpet
And there’s absolutely nothing I can do
Cat-egorically. Mmmmm – iaow
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4. |
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My name is Alexander, and I’m not the least bit sinister
I trot around the globe to proudly represent Australia
I got the job ’cos as a party head I was a faili-ure
My Mummy and my Daddy gave me such a dandy start in life
They introduced me early to the joys of Liberal Party life
I really am a pillock – (whoops, a pillar) of Adelaide society
I’m cuddly as a teddy bear – that’s why you all desire me!
I can name the states of Africa in order alphabetical
I never answer questions that are purely hypothetical
In short, across the Commonwealth, from Canberra to Westminister
I am the very model of a modern foreign minister
(In short, across the Commonwealth, from Canberra to Westminister
He is the very model of a modern foreign minister)
I am the very model of a modern foreign diplomat
Take any third world country I can state precisely where it’s at
I know all of their leaders and I get on just a treat with them
They call me Alexander, which is really rather sweet of them.
Those nasty pasty terrorists will soon no longer trouble you
’Cos me and Little Johnny are such mates with old George W.
I’ll fight that war on terror, I’ll be strong, I won’t be lenient
Except in certain circumstances where it’s not convenient
With rhetoric impressive my opponents I deflate ‘em
I can quote the words of Gladstone and of Churchill all verbatim
In short, across the Commonwealth, from Canberra to Westminister
I am the very model of a modern foreign minister
(In short, across the Commonwealth, from Canberra to Westminister
He is the very model of a modern foreign minister)
I am the very model of a cocktail party animal
With huge expense account, although my impact is quite minimal
My overwhelming charm I use in full and frank discussi-ons
And when I stuff it up I just ignore the repercussi-ons
I’ve an extraordinary grasp of international relati-ons
In tough negotiati-ons I show a lot of pati-ence
I deal so diplomatically with problems I confront - (you see)
That the leaders of the world they say to me, “What a great count - ery”
I initiate initiatives completely ineffectual
But that’s of no concern to me because I’m so cute and sexual
In short, across the Commonwealth, from Canberra to Westminister
I am the very model of a modern foreign minister
(In short, across the Commonwealth, from Canberra to Westminister
He is the very model of a modern foreign minister)
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5. |
Dad's Clothes
04:31
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Going through the things left behind by a loved one can be painful, but it can also be a very positive experience. This song won the Roddy Read Memorial Song Award at the Maldon Folk Festival.
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6. |
Elvis is Alive
03:13
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I saw Elvis at McDonald’s, I saw Elvis at KFC
I saw Elvis at the Burger King, he was looking straight at me
I saw Elvis in a jumpsuit, I saw Elvis in blue suede shoes
I saw Elvis disguised as Indira Naidoo, he was reading the TV news
Elvis is alive, uh huh, Elvis is alive
He’s not looking down from Heaven, he’s at your local 7–11
Elvis – is alive
Uh huh
I saw Elvis at a Test match, he was bowling pretty good
I saw Elvis at the football, he was playing for Collingwood
(He always did have questionable taste)
I saw Elvis here in Melbourne, I saw Elvis at the gym
He was wearing this kind of white spandex leotard with intricately patterned gold lamé panels and a high collar and flairs
So I knew that it was him
I heard noises in the lounge room, so I went in to see
There was Elvis on the sofa shooting at my TV
I saw Elvis with a poodle, they were going for a jog
When the poodle pooed on his blue suede shoes
He said, “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog!”
You may laugh and chortle but he’s obviously immortal. Elvis is alive
Ignore everything you’ve read I’ve got proof that he’s not dead ….
Which leads me to my thesis that the man’s another Jesus ….
He’s an undercover spy working for the FBI ….
If my research is not at fault he shares a flat with Harold Holt ….
If you think he’s not still here just look at Jeff Kennett’s hair ….
He’s not at Heaven’s Gate, ’though he may have lost some weight ….
Now I think I’d better stop, ’cos I’ve really lost the plot ….
Elvis – is alive
Uh huh
Elvis – is alive
Uh huh
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7. |
September 11th
04:29
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His orders came through on September 11th at dawn
The planes would attack their targets, according to plan
Some would aim for the centres of commerce
Some would strike at the military’s heart
But to him fell the mission’s most lofty task
The President himself, the ultimate symbol of power
Was his target. Oh, they would make this great nation cower
This regime of infidels who’d strayed from the truth
This arrogant leader elected by fools
This so-called ‘democracy’ that broke all the unwritten rules
His team was well chosen, these brave faithful men would not flinch
Though their task was so daunting, the stakes high, so too the risks
But they were trained well, equipped and paid
By powerful friends far away
With right on their side they prayed they would triumph that day
Every detail in place, his task now to follow the plan
His fate, and that of his men, was in his own hands
With steely resolve they boarded the plane
As the city approached he flew low and aimed
And prayed to his god that his aim would be true
And prayed to his god that his aim would be true
The attack succeeded, by evening the president lay dead
His palace destroyed, and these are the last words he said
As he spoke to his people on the radio
He said, “I’ll defend our democracy with my own life”
He could have fled, but he chose to stand firm when the bombers arrived
So Salvador Allende of Chile was murdered that day
And the Junta then slaughtered thousands who stood in their way
And the US was there behind the scenes
When democracy died, and terror unleashed
On September 11th, 1973
On September 11th, 1973
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8. |
The War Without a Name
05:00
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Twenty thousand died in the war without a name
You won’t find it in the history books, but it happened just the same
I’m talking reconciliation, I’m not talking blame
Till we understand our history we’ll be bound by these chains
How could we sing “Lest we forget”
When we never knew, when we never knew
How could we sing “Lest we forget”
When we never knew, we never knew
In a thousand country towns across this ancient land
In pride of place with solemn grace the war memorial stands
For those who fell across the seas, from Vietnam to France
But not for those who died at home defending their own land
The following account was written by a member of a ‘punitive expedition’ mounted in response to the death of a squatter by spear:
They slept soundly, those blacks.
We were within revolver shot before our presence was discovered
- and then it was too late.
Many of them were wiped out before they could gain their feet.
Panic stricken, they offered no resistance.
How those gins and kiddies shrieked when we got among them.
Nothing with a black hide escaped that night.
In daylight, we returned to view our work of vengeance.
Bucks, gins and piccaninnies were lying dead in all directions
And not a thing in the camp moved or breathed.
Townsville Herald, 2 February 1907.
There’s a thousand more such stories, but seldom they’ve been told
We read instead in schoolbooks of pioneers bold
For those who knew the awful truth were silent or ignored
And thus this land was settled and prosperity enjoyed
Twenty thousand died in the war without a name
You won’t find it in the history books, but it happened…just the same
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9. |
The Sorry Song
03:08
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How hard can it be to just say sorry?
How hard can it be to do what’s right?
How hard can it be to just say sorry?
How long will it take to see the light?
Some say the past is another country
Some say the past, well, it’s dead and gone
But we’ll never heal if we don’t confront it
We’ve gotta say sorry, then we can all move on.
How’d you feel if the tables were turned
How’d you feel if it happened to you
How’d you feel if the lessons weren’t learned
Howard, you fool! Can’t you see what you’ve gotta do?
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10. |
Road Train
04:01
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Some people, they’re happy with a big Mack truck
But I know a better way to make a buck
You big truck drivers think you’re mighty tough
But a semi or B-double just ain’t enough
I drive a road train (Road train)
Road train (Road train)
See me gunnin’ down the road at 110
I don’t care if it’s dirt or if it’s bitumen
If you see me coming get off the road
Or I’ll squash you flatter than an old cane toad
With my road train (Road train)
Road train (Road train)
I got 87 trailers, 900 wheels
10 million horsepower – Oh how good that makes me feel!
When I see a tourist in the setting sun
I speed up and aim – Huh! Just for fun
With my road train (Road train)
Road train (Road train)
Well, you old time drovers, you got nothin’ on me
I load 10,000 head – before morning tea!
Then I hit the road, don’t you worry Jack
From Darwin to Perth, and by supper I’m back
In my road train (Road train)
Road train (Road train)
I carry petrol, construction vehicles, cattle and sheep
I can drive day and night – huh, I don’t need sleep
You can ask me what I’m hauling, I don’t mind a bit
’Cos it’s plain to see that I’m full of ….. sharp witted responses
In my road train (Road train)
Road train (Road train)
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11. |
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From England out to Australia they came
Grubby faces, overcoats and shorts
No-one told them why they had to change their names
No-one gave them a thought
They weren't convicts, they'd done no crime
Just kids with no-one of their own
And this is not in some far off time
But just a few short years ago
Lost children of the Empire
Searching for their past
Souls caught in the crossfire
Ten thousand broken hearts
Michael's mother was just 15 years old
They said she couldn't keep her son
'Cause back in those days, well, you did what you were told
She had to give him to the nuns
They put him on a ship at seven years of age
They told him that his mum had died
Out on the station they worked him like a slave
Each night in bed Michael cried
Michael started on the search for his past
50 years down the road
At every step there were hurdles in his path
No-one wanted to know
He traced his mother after years in the maze
Only to find that she'd just died
Michael cried as he stood by her grave
For all those years they had lied
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12. |
Vasectomy Song
01:10
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We don’t need no contraception
We don’t need no birth control
No daft contraptions in the bathroom
We can leave those things alone
Hey! We can leave those things alone
All in all it’s just another nick in the balls
All in all it’s just another nick in the balls
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13. |
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explosions split the night
People stagger in the eerie light
Charred remains, missing friends
Broken lives that will never mend
Nobody should have to go through this
Nobody should have to go through this
Believe what you will, but for God’s sake don’t kill
Nobody should have to go through this
Back in Melbourne, at 3 a.m.
Phone rings, it’s a close old friend
He says, “It’s your daughter – I don’t know how to say this
“Something terrible has happened, and we don’t know where she is”
Nobody should have to go through this
Nobody should have to go through this
Believe what you will, but it’s evil to kill
Nobody should have to go through this
Days go by, like some senseless dream
Politicians go on record, expressing sympathy
Mum’s still waiting by the phone
For her girl, who will never come home
Nobody should have to go through this
Nobody should have to go through this
Believe what you like, but this just isn’t right
Nobody should have to go through this (repeat)
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14. |
Landlubbers' Shanty
03:01
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I'll tell you of a story, lads, that happened once to me
Heave, haul, ho, and open up wide
Of the only time that I went out upon the briny sea
Heave from your stomachs, lads, and chunder over the side
As I went out one Sunday arvo on Port Phillip Bay
The Captain said, "She's blowing lads, we'll get some waves today
My friends had all impressed on me how sailing was so easy
If that's the case, excuse me asking why I feel so queasy?
While looking at the sea so green my face was getting greener
Whoops! I didn't make it to the side, we'll have to call the cleaner!
The First Mate and the Skipper said the boat was going beautiful
But I grew more in need of some assistance pharmaceutical
I wanted to be like those men at sea, who all go, "Arrrghh!"
But when I tried to go like that it seemed to come out, "Yeuargh"
The Captain said, "Now heave that yard arm mizzen to the tops'l"
I says, "Bollocks to your bulwarks, man, you can stick it up your fo'c's'le!"
Well, finally we made for home, returned to terra firma
I says, "The firmer it is the less terror there'll be," and went off without a murmur
The owl and the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea green craft
But now I've had a go myself, I reckons they was daft!
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15. |
The Butterfly Effect
04:28
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It was many years ago, when we met we couldn’t know
How a look, how a word would change our lives
As the breeze caressed your hair we sat talking unaware
And I first saw my reflection in your eyes
Now we’ve been so many years together
We met by chance, now we’re joined forever
The butterfly effect, a wing and a prayer
The flutter of tiny wings creates a storm somewhere
When the butterfly flaps its wings, so delicate, so small and thin
A tiny wisp of turbulence is born
In time it may gather strength, crossing seas and continents
It may become a gentle breeze, or raging storm
It’s so easy to get caught up in the whirl
But tiny things combined can change the world
Life is chaos, life is order
Life is air, fire and water
Life is things that just don’t turn out like they should
Life is magic, life is wonder
Life is sunshine, hail and thunder
Life is sweet, Life is bitter – life is good
What if Hitler had been born a Jew? That would have changed his views
What if Kennedy had stayed at home that day
What if Judas had been strong, if Truman hadn’t dropped the bomb
Does it matter what we do or pray?
The flip of a coin, the roll of the dice
The fork in the road, the green or red light
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Bruce Watson Melbourne, Australia
Joyful, hilarious, thought provoking and totally engaging original songs from one of Australia's foremost songwriters and performers in the folk style.
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